Very often, i see myself fitting in. More often, i see myself fitting out. In the middle of people, looking like people all around me, smiling at people, too many smiles, too many people. That’s when i know it’s happening. And i float in and out, mechanically. My feet move me, so i move, technically, and that’s good enough for most of me. Sometimes, it scares you because you keep seeing the same people everywhere. It’s like a nightmare you can’t get over. You can’t stay at home all day because you need to meet people to keep your mind from getting a little numb, so you get out, to catch some air and at least make faces at the dogs. And then you manage to bump into the same air around you, the same smell of your sweat, the same faces, the same places. And you get drawn back into the same story. Or you fit out.

Basically, i need a drastic change in my life. In a lot of ways.